Detox | Sleep tight

We don’t know for sure how we fall asleep, or what happens while we sleep. Sleeping is an act of daily surrender to a mysterious process that lasts for nearly eight hours (if you’re lucky) — an entire third of our day. 

One could say that sleep is a spell that binds us and liberates us every day, and most of the time we can’t tell why it comes and why it goes. All we are certain of is that when sleep defies us, we suffer, as Natasha Atlas sings here.

Sleep is also a journey between past and future: rest from yesterday’s pains and hope that the morning will bring a better day. When we sleep our bodies regenerate and our thoughts rearrange; it is the key to vigor, wellness and a clear mind. With sleep, humans find balance; without it, everything falls out of place.

There are two types of sleep, the first of which is deep sleep, in which the body heals itself, relaxes and sends blood into our muscles. The other type is the one where our consciousness comes alive, creating dreams. We only get the full health benefits of sleep when we experience both kinds.

Everyone has their own rituals to help them combat restlessness and sink into sleep. We toss and we turn until we finally drift into oblivion, and while we have no definitive advice on how to get there, we’re offering you a guide that might make it easier to reach those coveted depths. 

We begin with the oldest and most successful sleep-inducing method: bedtime stories, and this is a guide for those of us tasked with leading their children to the world of dreams. We follow that with another, smaller guide for adults — may we all find some respite from the week’s woes and get some much-needed sleep this weekend.

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A fictional story for the little one

“Can you tell me a story?”

Whoever has kids would probably be familiar with the daily commitment which starts with the above request.

One night, while lying in bed after the lights had been dimmed, my seven-year-old son asked me to stop telling stories about him, and using things that had happened throughout our day as raw material or inspiration for the stories I tell him. In these stories he refers to, my kid appears as the protagonist who does good deeds that are praised within the story and bad things that are used as cautionary tales. You can say I used storytelling for “educational” purposes, but apparently he’d had it, and he firmly demanded that I switch to “fictional stories.”  What a shocking but seamless plot twist, you beautiful little boy. And so I started to improvise in order to keep him entertained every night, and below I share with you what I’ve learned from all our bedtime storytelling experiments so far. 

How do we tell a fictional story?

Perhaps one of the first things to consider is to choose a protagonist who is neither you nor your kid. You need to make them believe that you don’t know what’s going to happen next in the story; keep the suspense alive.

What sources can you use?

It’s best to choose a story that’s not adapted from other sources. A good storyteller should pay attention to the authenticity of their stories. Our imagination could — and will — be affected by a myriad of books, films, songs or poems, but the story has to be innovative and told in a fresh way, even if it’s not entirely original. 

The most famous bedtime stories of all are those in A Thousand and One Nights, but they had a different purpose, and while he did listen to those stories before going to sleep, Shahryar wasn’t a child. However, one night I thought I’d use Scheherezade’s tales as inspiration, namely her story about the City of Brass. I tried to justify why the people of this city had turned into brass by highlighting the importance of this particular metal, which is often used in manufacturing jewelry, providing gold with a solidity it otherwise lacks. Subsequently, I decided that those people who had become brass were going to be used to create something else, and in this case the protagonist would have to be a jeweler, who decides upon his arrival to the City of Brass to use its inhabitants as raw material. He is a greedy man, one who only seeks profit instead of wondering how to rescue these cursed men and women: He couldn’t see what they were really made of, only what they were made out of. And that’s when I stopped myself: my child is not interested in word games, and this is a bit of a depressing story. The gist here is, if you decide to use an existing story for inspiration, make sure its content is child-friendly so as not to unsettle your kid and end up in an endless loop of questions you can do without. 

Language?

Remember that the generation that used to watch SpaceToon — where all cartoons were dubbed in classical Arabic — is all grown-up now. Your kids likely watch YouTube Kids and Netflix, so colloquial is your best bet. Be casual and spontaneous; discover the art of storytelling in your local dialect. Try not to get carried away, though; you’re a contemporary parent, not Nagib Sorour. 

What is fiction?

In this context, fiction doesn’t simply mean what it does in the world of books; your child doesn’t just want you to make up a story, they want you to let your imagination run wild so that they could try to catch up: this is where the fun lies. It takes practice and guts, but for starters try to create nontraditional characters, and give them limitless powers. Leave reality behind, but make sure your story has structure and isn’t just a mindless frolic in the realm of the imaginary, because this could overstimulate them. Remember, the aim is to get them to relax after a long day so they’ll finally fall asleep.

The moral of the story?

To avoid blaming yourself later (or your child blaming you when they grow up), stop trying to impose a moral to each story. Your sole goal should be to entertain your little listener, and to prepare their mind for impending sleep, while making sure none of your stories prompt nightmares. Bedtime stories are space for constant experimentation; there is no one particular style you need to adopt. All you have to do is find the right point of departure, and from there the rest of the story will unfold seamlessly. A child will almost fall asleep after a good story, told in a calming tone and rhythm. And if they fall asleep before you’re done, tell yourself it’s because they’re tired, not because your story was boring. 

Sweet dreams, little one. As for you, fellow adult, better try to make use of what’s left of your night now.

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The adult’s guide to a good night’s sleep

Sadly, as we grow up, we begin to need a lot more than a bedtime story to help us sleep. Our minds race, and it’s incredibly difficult to keep them under control long enough for sleep to find a way in. If you have trouble sleeping, here’s a brief list of tried and tested tips that might help. 

• Make sure you don’t drink any stimulants after the sun sets. It’s preferable to drink soothing drinks such as chamomile, anise or peppermint.
• Calming music could help sometimes, but make sure you stay away from all electronic devices: no phone, laptop or TV one hour before bedtime.
• Social media is the enemy of sleep; you don’t want this onslaught of information when you’re actually trying to calm your brain.
• If you work out, try to push your exercise to the end of the day; the exhaustion could help you fall asleep quicker. Nighttime yoga also helps clear the mind.
• Try to have your last meal at least a couple of hours before you go to bed. 
• Take a warm shower before you snuggle in. 
• Reading is a great idea, but not on a device where you have Internet access: Actual books and Kindles only, and keep the light dim.  
• It generally helps if your room is entirely dark while you sleep: black-out curtains are highly recommended.
• Routine usually helps with sleep, so it’s preferable that you go to bed at the same time every night.
• Tuck yourself in; being covered usually helps you sleep (and make sure to keep your feet warm).
• If you’re still tossing and turning, go back to the basics. This might work: Nothing Much Happens is a podcast of bedtime stories for grown-ups, told in the soothing voice of yoga and meditation instructor Karyn Nicolai. 

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Sleep tight, dear readers. Until next time.